Sasquatch Sighting in Central Park!

Bigfoot Spotted in New York City - - Roaming Central Park - - NYC "OMG"!
The jaded citizens of Gotham were astonished this weekend to learn a feral Bigfoot is living in Central Park, right under their stressed out noses. According to Gotham City police, the NYC Bigfoot is scrounging a living near "The Lake" in Central Park, taking advantage of heavy unnatural foliage and lost tourists to hide from Animal Control Inspectors and vicious Park Avenue Poodles.

Amazing photo of a wild Sasquatch roaming the remote badlands of Central Park.

How is this mysterious ape-creature surviving in Manhattan? According to quasi-experts at the Museum of unNatural History across from Central Park, the NYC Bigfoot is probably living off street-cart food and small furry animals. "We know these monkey-beasts crave both fried and junk food", said one scientist, "the beast appears to be foraging plenty of both. We've also noticed a dramatic drop in the squirrel and rat populations on the north side of the Park. Coincidence? I think not!"
City Hall is silent. "Are you kidding me?!", said a deputy junior part-time clerk in the Parks and Wreckreation Department, "If we lean on this Bigfoot ape guy, the Sierra Club will slap us with a endangered mythological species lawsuit in a New York minute! Better to just pretend that apeman isn't there."
Karl Blinng, Ph.D. and Director of the fabulous YETI not SETI Institute in semi-interesting Yuba City, California, was intrigued. "You know what? I am intrigued!", exclaimed Dr. Blinng, "We've known for years that New York City sewers harbor 30 foot python snakes, 60 pound rats, 2 ton alligators and Jimmy Hoffa... so a Sasquatch in NYC should not be a surprise. The question is, does the apeman know how to use the subway properly, or does he jump the turnstile?"